It appears to me that the more you are being criticized that you earned things by wrong means, which to the best of your knowledge, are not by wrong means, the harder you should try to earn respect from those who criticize you and the harder you should try to find your faults that trigger the criticism.
On the similar lines ‘what others think of you is none of your business‘.
I suppose when we strike a balance between the two, there is very less mental stress and harmony inside the heart and you start becoming a better man.
It usually takes 30 minutes for me to drive from my office, manyatha tech park to my home at yelahanka new town where I currently live. Today I left office at 5.30pm and I had no clue that the heavy rains would have blocked the drainage system so badly that it took literally 2hrs to drive a distance of 1km! The roads were jammed completely and there was no chance to drive back and take different route.
It just was a surprising day. It is when you least expect that things go wrong, or fall right in place. Isn’t it?
For some reason, I did not feel exhausted at all stuck in traffic, standing still, only moving a few inches here and there now and then.
There was a school bus beside my vehicle and the kids inside were singing randomly and not letting the slow traffic piss them off.
Isn’t that how we should be handling things? Making sure we make the best of now, this very minute and don’t give a damn about the troubles around? Well, I hope to do so. It’s a little tough task for an ordinary man like me though.:)
There was a workshop at my organization this week. The focus was to eliminate/minimize the quality problems in one of the software component delivered by my team to the business lines. Between business line who consume the end software, and my team, there is a platform services who deliver the LFS(Linux From Scratch) This software component built by my team is having interfaces that are common between LFS, and us, which create problems at times, and the potential solution was to develop, build and test our component along with LFS. I think it is a right solution.
I’m a Build Automation engineer and I’m rewriting our software component’s build system using CMake. Rewriting is necessary as this component cannot be built by just running “make my_component”. Our build system is way too old, and inseparable from the other components that coexist. I like this task as it is challenging. Ensuring the accuracy of build, to match it to the legacy build system is reasonably challenging! I’m enjoying this work so far. There are some organizations where people are asked to do too many things at a time. That is suffocating. It happens with us some times.
As much as the workshop was inspiring, it was discouraging too, that I do not know most part of this software component, the development, and testing aspects in particular. That went in two entirely different directions. I sort of concluded it that I think I get discouraged rather quickly when I don’t know things. There perhaps was no need for discouragement. It just isn’t my area of work perhaps. But it is always good to know a little bit of everything. I think I will go forward in that direction; to know what this piece of software does, and then, how, and then even try some hands on.
The tree you are seeing in the picture blossoms some sort of flowers. I don’t know their English name. Their fragrance is heavenly.
This tree is apparently an old one and I guess it just might die soon :(. I come across this fragrant tree on my way to home and as I ride across her, the fragrance lasts for about a second. For that second, it really is very pleasant. It brings the same soothing, comforting effect as that of say glass of water you drank when you are dead thirsty, or the meal that you had when you were starving.
It was so compelling a feeling for a few days now that I wanted to write about it and I drove back to take a picture today.
The tree, the flowers, their fragrance doesn’t last throughout my way. But I prefer to take that road for the sake of that tiny second of time. I hope the flowers keep blossoming.
It was yet another tiring Monday. I was actually pretty pumped up to go to office this morning as I wrote down some actions for us, my team, during the weekend which I thought we can execute this week. As I woke up, I got a call and I had to pick a neighbor from my hometown and drop them to their destination as they don’t know Bengaluru much, and it was exhausting drive in the car. There was one hell of road traffic, and I was pissed. I dropped them when the destination was almost 3km away, and returned to office.
It was very unfortunate for me that some changes I made to the build system broke the system. They are using autotools, and our build environment is not uniform, and this autotools is very fussy, and complicated. It failed sporadically, making the whole thing look wrong. I got busy in this talking to people, and fixing things up. Although I got sufficient support from people, it just was another tiring day, and at this moment, I’m done preparing an undo of my changes from trunk. This is the last option.
I’m exhausted. So exhausted that I just cannot take this anymore, even if it means I will be considered incapable. I think I don’t want to solve these problems anymore. It is here that I don’t want to call it quits, but that thought is slowly reining over me.
At the same time, I see a lot of people from the developer community, who are so seamless and seem to take more pressure than I can. Now that makes me think I just should do things right and everything will be fine. Or I just really want to call it quits as I know I can do things right, but I just don’t want to anymore..
Well, to those strange readers who stumble onto my blog, sorry to disappoint. I hope to put some good interesting reads here, than my boring routine rants.