The fragrant second

The tree you are seeing in the picture blossoms some sort of flowers. I don’t know their English name. Their fragrance is heavenly.
This tree is apparently an old one and I guess it just might die soon :(. I come across this fragrant tree on my way to home and as I ride across her, the fragrance lasts for about a second. For that second, it really is very pleasant. It brings the same soothing, comforting effect as that of say glass of water you drank when you are dead thirsty, or the meal that you had when you were starving.
It was so compelling a feeling for a few days now that I wanted to write about it and I drove back to take a picture today.
The tree, the flowers, their fragrance doesn’t last throughout my way. But I prefer to take that road for the sake of that tiny second of time. I hope the flowers keep blossoming.

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Another Tiring Day

It was yet another tiring Monday. I was actually pretty pumped up to go to office this morning as I wrote down some actions for us, my team, during the weekend which I thought we can execute this week. As I woke up, I got a call and I had to pick a neighbor from my hometown and drop them to their destination as they don’t know Bengaluru much, and it was exhausting drive in the car. There was one hell of road traffic, and I was pissed. I dropped them when the destination was almost 3km away, and returned to office.

It was very unfortunate for me that some changes I made to the build system broke the system. They are using autotools, and our build environment is not uniform, and this autotools is very fussy, and complicated. It failed sporadically, making the whole thing look wrong. I got busy in this talking to people, and fixing things up. Although I got sufficient support from people, it just was another tiring day, and at this moment, I’m done preparing an undo of my changes from trunk. This is the last option.
I’m exhausted. So exhausted that I just cannot take this anymore, even if it means I will be considered incapable. I think I don’t want to solve these problems anymore. It is here that I don’t want to call it quits, but that thought is slowly reining over me.
At the same time, I see a lot of people from the developer community, who are so seamless and seem to take more pressure than I can. Now that makes me think I just should do things right and everything will be fine. Or I just really want to call it quits as I know I can do things right, but I just don’t want to anymore..
Well, to those strange readers who stumble onto my blog, sorry to disappoint. I hope to put some good interesting reads here, than my boring routine rants.

Reunion At School

We had a wonderful event back in my school on the republic day, the 26th January. Quite a few of my school friends showed up, and I’m glad that many of them settled well in their lives. Some are teachers, some run business, some are politicians, some are into jobs in private sector, and many girls are homemakers.

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Kudos to those of my friends that itched the idea of reunion function, main agenda being remembering our old time school teachers. Many of our teachers gladly accepted; our invitation to take part in the function, our small gesture, and our thanks. I’d the pleasure of picking and dropping three of our teachers from their doorstep.
Just the way they felt nostalgic about the school, and their job, I think, we equally felt nostalgic about our childhood, and the wonderful school days. I wish I could erase all my memory, turn the time machine to the past, and go back my childhood. I’m selfish; I need everything to just go backwards not just me alone, well but time machine is just a fictional thing.:(
We had the pleasure of talking on the stage again on which once we orated very proudly the mugged up speech on the Independence Days, Republic Days, Teachers days, that got interrupted occasionally to be picked up from the beginning.
The pleasure of listening to those teachers that tried hard to teach us the basics of everything. It was wonderful.

Unluckily, the school, and time has changed things badly. Although the facilities are good these days, the quality isn’t that good at school, or with the education system these days. We had nice experienced, and disciplined teachers. Not now.

All in all, it was a nostalgic day, and I thoroughly enjoyed it.
I noticed that I’m a changed man, since my childhood. Changed in good ways with some, and bad in others. Isn’t that what makes us; the terrible human beings?!

Another Year Gone – 2014

Time flies. As I write this down, I recall how I spent my Dec 31, 2013. Nothing much as changed for me with my personal life since then. I’m happily what I’m. In fact, I think I got better during 2014 personally. I tried to be sensitive to others. I tried not to hurt anyone deliberately. I tried to be nice and kind as much as possible, as long as possible. I thanked a few people that helped to me to be what I am. I tried not to lose my nerve. I tried to understand my family more and more although I lived my life on my own all these years. I tried to figure out what exactly I want for myself, and what not.

On the professional side, I tried to ensure that my team at office that I lead is growing with their ability to do good job, as much as I tried do it myself; and I tried to ensure that they are more engaged with stuff they are doing. I tried to communicate openly to ensure that we do what the team, and company really wanted. I tried to be rational enough to judge people at office, when judging them became inevitable. I hated certain decisions inevitably, and it was evidentially the wrong decision with unfair motivation despite the confrontation from me. We reduced software build times reasonably well. We are trying to rewrite our build system using “tup build tool”, and we will finish it before Jan’15! I read most part of two wonderful books, “Who says elephants can’t dance”, and “How Google Works” and I digested them reasonably well, and trying to improve myself accordingly.

On the failures part, I failed to hold on to a few activities at office until their closure. I’ve improved since 2013, but there still was more room for improvement. I failed to find a mentor for myself in somebody. I failed to criticize, and apparently, had I communicated more openly, I would have done more good than I did by keeping quiet.

For this year, 2015, my objective is to make at least one useful contribution to open source software(I have 2 ideas in my mind on how I can contribute); to exercise as regularly as possible, to eat at least one fruit per day, to make it to my dream job, and try to become a better person, and to fall in love.

I’m hopeful that I will make most of 2015.

Roads, Bengaluru

I have a gut feeling that my observation is worth a paisa if not anything else. I’d to roam around Bengaluru this week, and couple of weeks ago on some personal appointments, and my observation is, a lot of narrow roads are not really narrow. What I mean by that is 1. There is no properly laid footpath

2. Only 3/4th of the road is usable. No vehicles can go on the rest of the road; as the finishing is bad, no body is willing to use that.

3. The lane markings on the road do not exist :(

4. Roads are patched in a very bad and unorganized way. They slow down vehicles as people brake more and more when they see humpy roads.

5. Potholes all of a sudden.

What I think is, either sides of the roads needs to be finished properly so that the entire road can be used for vehicle movement == Fix these. And the roads won’t be narrow anymore to some extent.

I really really stick to my lane as much as possible. I try hard to be a civilian with common sense. I follow what Rahul Dravid’s poster all over Bengaluru say: When on road, always say “Pehle Aap”. Unfortunately, no body says, “Pehle Aap” to me :(

I don’t know if anyone tried to measure the quantum of waste; fuel wastage, time wastage, delayed arrivals at destinations etc because of these under-developed, low-quality, worth-less roads. If the roads are really up to standards, I really believe a good amount of traffic gets controlled and it speeds up vehicles.

I’m not sure if Government is trying to bring in some standards to these roads. The pace at which the improvement is seen is very moderate. It seems these bureaucrats should realize, and work faster, and keep strict quality measures. Modi ji, please, please, bring in quality standards to these Government projects at ground level. Roads in particular are broken..

I pay a lot of money as tax, proud, and honest I’m. I don’t cheat.  And when I hit a pothole, I feel like punching that road contractor right in his face, who did that low quality shitty work.