During the early hours today, I heard extremely pathos-rendering of Shivaranjani raaga on what sounded like flute. This was accompanied by an incredibly delicious wave of aroma.
I couldn’t resist getting out of the bed despite the early hours. With my eyes well up, I had given into Shivaranjani recital, as much as I’d to the delicious smell and wanted to know who was being so emotional in the early hours. With my ears, nose, and heart hinting that I heard the musical from the dense trees that’re to the left of my home did I dare to go find out the source, and hopefully extend a potential human touch to heal the pain of the recitalist.
I headed into the trees, and to my surprise, it was Lord Krishna, Paramathma, Vasudeva himself reciting the magical flute, alongside him was a yummy pastry that read “Happy Janmashtami”. The heavenly pastry was so aromatic that it could get through the 1 foot walls of my room and nobody knows how far it had to go. And could I even imagine anyone being better than Him with flute?
Bearing to the shock, and the bliss of seeing him live, so close, and tangible, I fainted. After a day that I woke up, as He shook me with His almighty touch and I stood up in all awe, absolutely surrendered to his sublime stature, reminding that I was wondering why he’d to recite The Pathos Shivaranjani, that too on his own Janmashtami. My one day in fainting was apparently a nanosecond to Him.
I called myself an atheist until that moment, but, then, with a pounding heart, and a clean soul that is completely appalled, and irrevocably devoted, did I dare to ask Him what was it that’d him upset so bad and why would He bring the heavenly pastry all the way to the ever sinned earth?
And how ridiculous, and massively arrogant of me to even think I could do something to better his mood? I’d say I was just curious. Saints, as I read, had to climb mountains, meditate for years, starve to near death, grow long beard, and endure all the pain along the way to prove they were worthy of His visit. But for me, a sinned, mortal human being, He just showed up on a pleasant morning from nowhere on an auspicious day, so massively special to Him, and I’d to try to engage in a good conversation, and hopefully leave a good first impression of an average human being whilst I listened to Him and He listened to me.
Needless to say, I’d my wishlist that is growing ever since my primary school, but I must stick to the human code of conduct. Prayer first, Prasadam later!
He rested the flute, and said “several things have gone out of control on planet earth. From a state president firing his bureaucrats, and threatening other countries with provocative rhetoric; A 4 foot 5 inch beanbag trying to dump shit on humanity; The tanking stock market because of the aforesaid people and needlessly ruining people’s peace; The raising sea levels, and dying sharks; Mutual Fund companies using His birthday to advertise their crappy new products; Online sales on His eve selling year old nonsense, just to name a few..” He said.
I was perplexed. All of these are problems created by His creation. If He deemed them as problems, that’s just a surprise. I was hesitant, yet compelled to ask Him, although I understood how intense problems they were, given the fact that they nearly plunged Him into a bad mood, and I’d to conclude they must be real difficult ones even for Him, hopefully for the right reasons. I gathered some courage, and asked Him why were they have to be so disturbing, so much so that they ruin His birthday. He said these numerous actions from the humans have quite adversely affected his prior road map for the end of Kaliyuga, extending Kaliyuga by several thousand years, and that provoked a rather heated political debate during their yearly summer trip to Bhooloka this year and the extension was going to trouble some members politically.
The following is how He narrated some excerpts from their conversations.
“While Yamaraja claimed that the input to His department has reduced drastically, Vayudeva complained that during his recent visit to Bhooloka, he once took a deep breath and immediately fainted. He’d to be woken up with a mask around his nose, and that he was told he better wear them as long as he was in Delhi and Shanghai!
Another colleague Varunadeva started whining that he’s prohibited from visiting some of his favorite parts of India, the other colleague who sits close the fire extinguisher, Agnideva, was furious about his unplanned visits to the forests and had to be absent during the world tour missing Tulips garden. The other, rather romantic, colleague Manmatha is left jobless as the population exploded without his efforts, and he didn’t even see the need to participate in the summer trip this time, and left up there and missed his favorite Amsterdam.”
“Even to almighty me, these are way too many disagreements between way too many supervisors. While on the way to Switzerland via Germany, they planned my birthday party. We rested the previous night, and started celebrating my birthday this early hours IST, here in these lush trees. When the sick president tweeted some nonsense, the stock market tanked, and one of the devotee cursed me. There was a forest for Agni to burn, and a flood for Varuna to take charge of. As these two left, the other colleagues also yelled at me for not taking care of the extension, and left me here alone.
This’s my worst birthday since 2008 financial crisis, and I was well on my way to fix things to find a balance before the recent, rather, adverse developments around the globe.” said Vasudeva, with his palm on His head.
Well, that, indeed, is severe, I thought.
I, for one, have although lived through these difficulties, and know these problems well enough, I don’t want the Kaliyuga to end. Should we fix the problem, the almighty’s road map aligns back, chances are the next few generations may not see the light of the day. Nonetheless, I asked Him what He could do, and what I could do? (Well, what could I do? I’m a 7am-4pm employee. That is all. I can fix a few bugs if they are in Python or Java programs!) The almighty said it was simple. He was going to get Brahmakartha, and I just had to ask Brahma to align things as all the knobs were with Him, and He would fix it!”. “But, ” He continued, “I would trick Him that you are not going to ask anything related to Kaliyuga, and the road map.”, because all that Brahma does is done only once. He prefers not to change anything!
There can never be a better opportunity, and nobler deed for me to anchor, to be devoted. This was it. I touched his feet, and said “Sure, my lord”.
Moments later, the magnanimous Brahma showed up and said, “It was the one mistake in my creation, especially with human beings. Nonetheless,” he continued, “I have always been kind to you despite your atrocities”. And asked me to submit my wish for his consideration, or rather consider it granted. As Lord Krishna was looking at me, I thought for a moment and said: “Please help me close this story with an incredible climax!” Brahmakartha said, ‘Tathastu!”
As I clicked the Publish button, I heard Lord Krishna yelling at me ‘MutthaLa! HaLumadidyallo!”, I replied, “ella ninna leele. Naanu nimitha mathra. Baresodu, Bareyodu, ella neene allave prabhu!”
He smiled, and said I’ve *His* approval to publish this.