I’ve been laughed at sometimes for my lean physique. Those comments never mattered to me. But, as I am growing up, it seems to me that it really matters how I look. I realized how weak I am when I fainted in the gym on the very first day! It wasn’t that embarrassing, though. It was, to be frank, without shame, the most wonderful thing of my recent days. For a few minutes, I was so blissfully asleep having no sense of consciousness and the whole world was so quiet and calm that I was in heaven. I really really want that moment back. The gym instructor had to sprinkle some water on my face to wake me up. I think it is quite common a scene for him as he was teasing a guy who was then entering the gym, when I was leaving, that it reminded him of that boy’s first day. You are never alone. 😉
I’m writing this on my blog to keep my motivation up. I’m not going to quit this time. I WON’T. I will gain 10kg in the next 3 months. If not 10kg, some visible improvement in the way I look.
I’m on a weekend outing to the so called sacred places, planned to finish my trip on Monday. God is clearly a very ubiquitous thing and I don’t consider having any qualification to talk about Him/it. But, when it comes to me believing it the concept of God, I think I’m clear enough, and not afraid to claim that I do not follow the herd or believe Him.
I do not like the general conventions as it seems to me that they are badly diluted, and
insanely commercial and the reason with which we do things are too selfish.
In nearly every temple I visited today(as many as 8), they asked us lit a Deepam. In some temples, it is up to you to lit it, but in some, they carry very special purpose that is clearly invented by some smart guy. When in case it carries special purpose, it is mostly related to the suffering of people, for example, for couple yearning for kids but haven’t had one, for youth that aren’t married, for families that have some kind of problems etc. I go mad with these. reasons. Unfortunately, it seems to me that a majority of us have started fearing God in place of worshiping Him. I don’t find it shameful to write that I cried when I
saw someone I know praying for something going by this herd mentality, when they don’t know if what they are looking for will do any good to them. It seems to me that those who worship find some kind of relief in doing so, and that’s the best outcome of their prayer.
And Dear God, if you do exist, just come downstairs once, and claim all the money that people are offering,
and give us some plan on how it should be spent for good reasons. 🙂