None of this is making sense anymore.

My mind defying the reasoning,
and stalling to think, but
tunneling all my energy to just pound the heart
several times faster, all of a sudden, and
often to yank myself off my body
to force me look at myself,
to challenge and prove that I’m failing to
recognize myself coz I’ve fallen apart
long time ago through
the constant motivation I’ve always had,
to find things that only complicated my life,
eventually leading me to fear just about everything
in life, and that there’s
no way I rebuild myself.
I’m afraid to seek an answer, a way out of this sinkhole,
as all such efforts thus far only kept breaking me further apart,
one experience at a time.

Am I in the vicinity of insanity?
If I ain’t, I wish I’m taken right into it,
as quick as possible,
for I will then be sure that I’m insane, completely,
and that it is okay if nothing makes sense,
and laughter and cry are no different.


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